Today’s Reading: Job 3-8; Psalm 38

When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him. Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. – Job 2:11-13

Job was having a difficult time despite his faith in God. He felt the pain and suffered from the loss just like anyone else would. He was surrounded by friends who loved him enough to travel from their homes to spend time with him. Not only did they watch him grieve, they grieved alongside him. Their friendship was strong enough to be willing to sit in the dirt with him for an entire week.

I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN.

After a week of sitting in silence, Job put words to the emotions he was feeling. It would have been better to never have been conceived than to experience this level of sorrow. “What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true. I have no peace, no quietness. I have no rest; only trouble comes” (Job 3:25-26).

For a week, Job’s friends got it right. They did not try to solve his problems, but simply walked the journey of grief with him. The problems began when they opened their mouths and started talking. They got impatient with his sorrow and began rushing their friend through the grief process. Although Job’s friends were trying to give him advice through his time of suffering, their words were only adding to his pain. Take this statement by Eliphaz as an example:

“Your words have supported those who were failing; you encouraged those with shaky knees. But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart. You are terrified when it touches you. Doesn’t your reverence for God give you confidence? Doesn’t your life of integrity give you hope? Stop and think! Do the innocent die? When have the upright been destroyed? My experience shows that those who plant trouble and cultivate evil will harvest the same.” – Job 4:4-8

Eliphaz accused his friend of being quick to support and encourage others who were going through a hard time, but then to respond in surprise that trouble could actually land on his own doorstep. Eliphaz told Job he should consider it a joy that God would correct him. He reasoned that although God was the one causing Job this pain, God would also be the one to bind Job’s wounds and save him from his sinful ways (5:17-18).

DON’T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPLAIN.

“One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty. My brothers, you have proved as unreliable as a seasonal brook that overflows its banks in the spring when it is swollen with ice and melting snow…Stop assuming my guilt, for I have done no wrong.” – Job 6:14-16, 29

We have probably all been there — either we have been the one going through a hard time and had well-meaning friends say something that made the pain worse, or we have been the one who has sincerely tried to comfort a friend only to end up saying the last thing they needed to hear. Our well-meaning efforts to express sympathy or ease someone else’s pain often falls flat. We have no choice but to walk away hoping our friend sees the sincerity of our attempt rather than the imperfection of our words.

Perhaps where we go wrong is that we want the mystery of God to be easily solvable — If you do what is right, God will bless you and make life easy for you. If things are not going right, then it has to be your fault. Simply confess your sins and you can go back to living the perfectly blessed life of one who has faith in God. Job’s friends were doing what we often do — they were trying to use human understanding to solve the mystery of who God is and why He allows tragedy to come into our lives.

“But if you pray to God and seek the favor of the Almighty, and if you are pure and live with integrity, he will surely rise up and restore your happy home. And though you started with little, you will end with much.” – Job 8:5-6

Job’s friend, Bildad, assumed that earthly blessings come to the righteous and the wicked can never prosper here on earth. We have all heard this prosperity gospel, and probably believed it to some degree. But the fact remains that there are some godly Christians who live and die dirt-poor by earthly standards, and there are some very ungodly people who have everything they could possibly ask for in regard to their position and possessions. This is not always easy to understand, but our response to what seems unfair in life can be to simply trust God, even if we cannot find a reason for the pain we are going through. As Job did, we can look forward to our heavenly rewards instead of measuring our earthly possessions or comfort level.

Father God, we ask for wisdom in knowing how to respond to the pain and trouble life brings us. Thank you for the reminder this morning that you are a good God, and that you are present with us through the most difficult seasons of our life. Help us to rest in the knowledge that you are a faithful God, and that we can always trust your heart.

Lord, teach us how to authentically be available to those who are hurting. Give us the discernment to know when your Spirit has given us a word for someone else, and when we are supposed to simply be silently present. Give us patience as we allow our loved ones the season of grief that they need; remind us not to rush their sorrow. I pray this morning for those who are hurting and ask that you give them a new wave of peace today in the midst of their grief. May we all be conduits of your mercy to those around us. Amen.