Today’s Reading: John 11:25-26; Psalm 38
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” — John 11:25-26
The Lord gave me a song for 2020 — a song I would daily listen to, letting the truth of God’s promises wash over me during a time of uncertainty in many areas of my life. When 2021 started, I waited for God to give me another song for what I needed. I needed to be reminded of God’s faithfulness, and I needed to surrender myself to His call on my life once more. This morning I allowed the Lord to take me back to all that he was teaching me in 2021.
In January of that year, I had to make some pretty big decisions for the ministry and I needed God to equip me for the leadership to which he had called me. I leaned hard on God.
February began and we drove to Joplin, Missouri, to check out the medical school God was leading Libby to attend. As we looked at apartments and checked out coffee shops, I reminded myself that God was working all things out according to His purpose. When everything inside of me wanted to pull my girl closer, I had to once again tell God that I would trust Him.
A few weeks later, as I rushed to the hospital, I had to trust that God had my husband in His very capable hands. Fast forward to April, God was stirring our obedience and the possibility that there was a big move in our future. When I accepted a call into full-time ministry when I was 17 years old, I told God I would go anywhere and do anything for Him. He reminded me that I needed to be light on my feet and remain willing to be used by Him in the “Second Act” of my life.
In the midst of resting in what He had ahead, God gave me my 2021 song — I Will Trust by Red Rocks Worship. The lyrics speak of our experience of God’s love during seasons of darkness, where we pursue God even when we cannot see where we are going. We cry out for our Good Shepherd to lead each step while also leading our heart.
It is one thing to pack up our belongings, hand over the keys to the home we love, and move a few hundred miles away, but my heart needed to make the move as well. A long time ago, I asked God to see the desires of my heart – that my heart would always be in sync with what He wanted in my life. That continues to be my prayer today. Good Shepherd, lead my heart — transform my desires and use me however you want. Do what you want to do with me, no matter where your heart takes me. I choose to trust you.
In October of 2021, we traveled to visit my parents and spend a few hours with family. I walked in the front door and my dad walked towards me with a smile on his face. He gave me a big hug and I had no doubt that he was genuinely happy to see me. We sat in the living room and talked for a long time. He was alert and I could understand everything he said. I smiled at him and told him he was having a really good day. He looked at me and said, “I’m having a really good day.” I thanked God for allowing us to visit my father on one of the summits of the roller coaster ride Parkinson’s creates for families.
Do not abandon me, O Lord.
Do not stand at a distance, my God.
Come quickly to help me,
O Lord my savior. – Psalm 38:21-22
One week later, my dad was clearly descending from that summit. He stopped eating, stopped talking, and stopped having good days. By the weekend, we were standing around his ICU bed. The second morning, I walked in the room and greeted him, squeezing his hand. I told him I loved him. He opened his eyes, lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand. A few days later, the hallucinations began. We sat around his bed and sang hymns. He mouthed some of the words. When we turned off the music, he began his sermon. We couldn’t hear the words and we couldn’t understand him, but there was very little doubt that he was either talking about Jesus or to Jesus.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4
The lyrics of my 2021 song continued to remind me that Jesus was with me during this unfamiliar storm we were experiencing. I did not need to fear the grave; I did not need to fear the waves. And God was faithful. He anchored each one of us as we said goodbye to the one who had brought so much life to our family. The Lord proved to us that we can trust Him as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
It has been two years since we gathered together to celebrate the life of Larry Alan Fortado. He is no longer trapped in a body that won’t allow him to do what he wants to do. He is singing in tune, walking without assistance, and he is dancing. Oh, how he loved to dance and smile and praise God. And he loved people. He looked beyond how messy their lives were, and he dove deep to make a difference in this world. And now he is surrounded by many whose lives were impacted by his willingness to be used by God.
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” — John 11:25-26
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
I do not know what kind of storm you are going through right now, but I hope that the words of these verses have encouraged you. Perhaps you are still grieving the death of a loved one, or maybe you are in the middle of that journey right now. If you are facing the possibility of your own death, I pray that God will give you a peace that surpasses understanding. My prayer for you this morning is that you will trust the Good Shepherd to both lead your steps and your heart. Even though it may be the hardest thing you have ever done, I pray you will choose to trust God today.
[I Will Trust lyrics by Kory Miller, Brinnae Keathley / Red Rocks Worship Publishing / Be Essential Songs (BMI) (admin. at EssentialMusicPublishing.com)]