Today’s Reading: Matthew 18:21-35; Psalm 103
There are times in our lives when it is easy to forgive someone who has wronged us, and then there are times when it is the hardest thing we have ever had to do.
The world defines forgiveness more from an inward perspective of letting go of resentment for the sake of peace of mind. If I make a conscious decision to let go of my need for vengeance or my desire to carry a grudge against someone, it frees me from the anger that can build up inside of me and rob me of joy. Forgiveness does not mean I excuse the behavior or give someone permission to continue to hurt me. I choose to forgive for my own sake, not necessarily for the sake of the one who has hurt me. [See this definition of forgiveness at https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition.]
Biblical forgiveness starts with my need to ask God to forgive me of my sin. I recognize that I have gone against His will or disobeyed Him, so the need to be reconciled with my Creator causes me to ask for forgiveness. This is not about merely going through the motions of saying, “I have sinned, please forgive me.” It needs to come from a heart that is sincerely repentant. There is an element of regret or remorse that brings me to a place of apology.
IF I MUST SHOW REGRET TO RECEIVE FORGIVENESS, SHOULDN’T THE PERSON WHO HAS WRONGED ME NEED TO SHOW REGRET BEFORE I FORGIVE THEM?
I think we often take this definition of forgiveness into our relationships with others. We think there is no need to forgive someone who has sinned against us unless they sincerely apologize, showing some kind of regret or disappointment in themselves. We wait for this recognition of wrong and hold onto our hard feelings until we see it. But let’s see how Jesus defined our need to forgive others.
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” — Matthew 6:14-15
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” — Mark 11:25
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” — Matthew 18:21-22
GOD CALLS US TO DISPLAY MERCY AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE SINNED AGAINST US.
Then Jesus shared a story about a servant who owed the king a lot of money but was unable to pay. The king forgave him his debt, but then he turned around and demanded the money another servant owed him. When the man could not pay, he had him arrested and thrown into prison. When the king heard that he did not extend the same mercy to someone else that he had been extended, he called the servant in and had him thrown into prison.
“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.” — Matthew 18:35
God calls us to be merciful to one another. He knows that we need to forgive other people just as much as they need to be forgiven. He does not tell us to demand an apology from someone else, nor does he say to wait until they make amends. He tells us to forgive just as He forgave us. And He knows that forgiving others is what will help us move forward. Forgiveness has a way of acknowledging my pain while refusing to let it define my future.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. — Colossians 3:12-14
It is not easy to forgive someone who has hurt us or sinned against us, but we serve a God who does not ask us to do hard things on our own. He steps in and gives us the strength to do what He is asking us to do. And then He fills the space that has been filled with bitterness with a peace that helps us move forward in freedom. Thank you, God, for your amazing provision! Help us to let go and forgive others, just as you have forgiven us.
MAY THOSE OF US WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED FORGIVENESS BE WILLING TO EXTEND FORGIVENESS TO OTHERS.
Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.
He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. – Psalm 103:1-4
The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever.
He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. – Psalm 103:8-12