Today’s Reading: John 11:25-26
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4
The Lord gave me a song for 2020 — a song I would daily listen to, letting the truth of God’s promises wash over me during a time of uncertainty in many areas of my life. When 2021 started, I waited for God to give me another song for what I needed. I needed to be reminded of God’s faithfulness, and I needed to surrender myself to His call on my life once more.
In January, I had to make some pretty big decisions for the ministry and I needed God to equip me for the leadership to which he had called me. I leaned hard on God.
February began and we drove to Joplin, Missouri, to check out the medical school God was leading Libby to attend. As we looked at apartments and checked out coffee shops, I reminded myself that God was working all things out according to His purpose. When everything inside of me wanted to pull my girl closer, I had to once again tell God that I would trust Him.
A few weeks later, as I rushed to the hospital, I had to trust that God had my husband in His very capable hands. Fast forward to April, God was stirring our obedience and the possibility that there was a big move in our future. When I accepted a call into full-time ministry when I was 17 years old, I told God I would go anywhere and do anything for Him. He reminded me that I needed to be light on my feet and remain willing to be used by Him in the “Second Act” of my life. In the midst of resting in what He had ahead, He gave me my 2021 song — I Will Trust by Red Rocks Worship.
I can’t see where I’m going / The lines are blurred but you’re showing me love / Love in the midst of the dark / I don’t know what you’re doing / But blindly I am pursuing you now / Good Shepherd, lead my heart
I can pack up my belongings, hand over the keys to the home I love, and move a few hundred miles west, but my heart needs to make the move as well. A long time ago, I asked God to see the desires of my heart – that my heart would always be in sync with what He wanted in my life. That continues to be my prayer. Good Shepherd, lead my heart — transform my desires and use me however you want.
Come and do what you wanna do / You will do what only you can do / I wanna be where you are / No matter / No matter how far it takes me / Lead through the dark / My hope, you will not forsake me / Oh, I will trust in You / Oh, I will trust in You
26 days ago, we traveled to visit my parents and spend a few hours with family. I walked in the front door and my dad walked towards me with a smile on his face. He gave me a big hug and I had no doubt that he was genuinely happy to see me. We sat in the living room and talked for a long time. He was alert and I could understand everything he said. I smiled at him and told him he was having a really good day. He looked at me and repeated that he was having a really good day. I thanked God that He allowed me to visit my dad on one of the summits of the roller coaster ride Parkinson’s creates for families.
One week later, my dad was clearly descending from that summit. He stopped eating, stopped talking, and stopped having good days. By the weekend, we were standing around his ICU bed. The second morning, I walked in the room and greeted him, squeezing his hand. I told him I loved him. He opened his eyes, lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand. A few days later, the hallucinations began. We sat around his bed and sang hymns. He mouthed some of the words. When we turned off the music, he began his sermon. We couldn’t hear the words and we couldn’t understand him, but there was very little doubt that he was either talking about Jesus or to Jesus.
I don’t know where you’re taking me / But I know that you’re making me like you / The old is washed away / When I’m tired of contending / I know you won the beginning and the end / Jesus, You are here now / Bring on the waves / I’m loved by the One who anchors me / No fear of the grave / I walk with the King of Victory / Oh, I will trust in You / Oh, I will trust in You
Tomorrow morning, we will celebrate the life of Larry Alan Fortado. He is no longer trapped in a body that won’t allow him to do what he wants to do. He is singing in tune, walking without assistance, and he is dancing. Oh, how he loved to dance and smile and praise God. And he loved people. He looked beyond how messy their lives were, and he dove deep to make a difference in this world.
No fear of the grave / I walk with the King of Victory / Oh, I will trust in You / Oh, I will trust in You
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” — John 11:25-26
[I Will Trust lyrics by Kory Miller, Brinnae Keathley / Red Rocks Worship Publishing / Be Essential Songs (BMI) (admin. at EssentialMusicPublishing.com)]