Today’s Reading: Matthew 26:69-75; Mark 14:66-72, 16:14; Luke 22:54b-62, 24:12; John 18:12-27, 20:3-10, and 21:15-25
HE WAS LOOKING FOR JESUS
Peter, however, got up and ran to the tomb. Bending over, he saw the strips of linen lying by themselves, and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened. – Luke 24:12
What was going through Peter’s mind as he stood inside the empty tomb? Was he reminded of his denial as he walked away in bewilderment? He had come looking for Jesus but he was nowhere to be found. There was so much he wanted to say — so much he wanted to apologize for. Perhaps his mind went back to the broken promises he had made to Jesus.
Simon Peter asked, “Lord, where are you going?”
And Jesus replied, “You can’t go with me now, but you will follow me later.”
“But why can’t I come now, Lord?” he asked. “I’m ready to die for you.”
Jesus answered, “Die for me? I tell you the truth, Peter – before the rooster crows tomorrow, you will deny three times that you even know me.” – John 13:36-38
And that is exactly what happened. While Jesus was being questioned in front of the high priest, Peter was in the courtyard being asked if he was one of Jesus’ disciples. “No,” he said, “I am not” (John 18:17b). As Simon Peter stood by the fire to warm himself, he was asked again if he was a disciple of Jesus. He denied it again but someone there recognized him from the olive grove where Jesus was arrested. Again Peter denied it and immediately a rooster crowed (John 18:25-27).
I can only guess how Peter felt in that moment, but I do know what it feels like to regret something I have done or said, or to be ashamed of my lack of faith, or to miss an opportunity to represent Jesus in a situation. I know the feelings of guilt when the Holy Spirit tugs on my heart to do something and I freeze, the moment lost forever. I know all too well the feeling of realizing I have sinned and knowing I need Jesus’ forgiveness, even though I do not deserve it. Because Peter was an emotional and passionate man, I imagine he experienced all of this to a higher degree than I can comprehend.
HE NEEDED TO TALK TO JESUS.
After Jesus’ resurrection from the dead, he appeared to his disciples and said the words that must have been like salve on Peter’s wounds, “Peace be with you” (John 20:19). Yes, peace was exactly what Peter had been without for three days and exactly what he needed from Jesus.
Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” – John 20:22
Peter had experienced the privilege of watching almost every moment of Jesus’ ministry – the healings, the sermons, sins forgiven, the false accusations – and yet he denied Jesus on that dreadful Friday afternoon when His Savior needed him the most. And now Jesus was giving the man who needed forgiveness the ability to forgive. Did Peter feel unworthy of this gift? Was this conversation with Jesus in response to Peter’s need for restoration?
Jesus asked Peter three questions and allowed him to individually answer each of the three questions. He gave Peter the opportunity to state his commitment to Christ three times, just as he had denied Jesus three times.
After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”
“Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him.
Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.”
“Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.
A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.” – John 21:15-17
HIS FEAR WAS REPLACED WITH BOLDNESS.
HIS SHAME WAS REPLACED WITH PEACE.
HIS DENIAL WAS REPLACED WITH COMMITMENT.
Lord, you know everything. You know the moments we regret the most and yet you forgive us. Then you heal our shame by giving us opportunities to replace our denial with commitment to serve you for the rest of our life. Like Peter, we have been saved to serve. We have received your call — feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep. That call looks different for each one of us, just as the sheep have different faces and different needs, but you are calling all of us to care for someone in some way. Jesus, help us move beyond the feelings of unworthiness produced by our guilt and shame. Give us the boldness to proclaim our love for you and faithfully commit to your call on our life — to feed your sheep!