What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong – you want only what will give you pleasure. – James 4:1-3

No matter what we have, there is something else we desire. I wonder if God rolls His eyes when we ask for two things that we cannot have simultaneously. Have you ever been on a road trip with kids? Our girls have asked the famous question over and over again on our many trips, “How much longer?” They long to be at our destination but they are tired of riding in the car, so they ask to make a stop. We stop, stretch our legs, maybe do a little shopping or get something to eat. Then we get back in the car and the famous question is repeated, “Now how much longer?” Well, the same amount of time as when we stopped the car! They long to be where we are headed but they also long to get out of the car, even though it keeps them from their greatest longing – to get where we are going. How often do we do the same thing in our prayer life – praying for one thing and then praying for something else that would keep us from receiving the first thing we prayed for.

I think the greatest problem that James is addressing in this passage is the heart. This is the start of a new chapter but it is really the continuation of what he has been teaching in the first three chapters. The words that we speak, the anger we display, the favoritism we show, the conflicts we have with other people, it all comes down to the condition of our heart. James uses the word “covet” and just a few verses before he is discussing the harmful habits of bitter jealousy and selfish ambition (3:14-16). It is these issues of the heart that cause our focus to be on “self” instead of others – to desire for our self what we see in others instead of getting lost in the needs of those around us. When we desire some-thing someone else has or to have power or glory for our self, it affects our relationship with others and our relationship with God. The truth is God knows our heart and our motives – good & bad.

Let’s hear from Beth Moore because she says it so much better than I can: “Nothing has the capacity to keep us out of trouble like the certainty of God’s gaze piercing through our pretense to the heart of our desires. Only He can sort out the blur of our motives. Let’s have the guts to ask Him what’s in our hearts and, when He reveals it, die to the self-gratification and live for the greater glory” [Beth Moore, Mercy Triumphs, p.133].

The book of James is hard on us. I find myself saying “ouch” over and over again as I study this letter. Are you feeling it too? Are you ready to quit? Wait, the book of James has a solution that will help us overcome all of this. First ask for wisdom before we ask for anything else that our heart desires because there is a humility that comes from wisdom (3:13). And if we lack wisdom, we can ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault – but when you ask, believe that He will give you wisdom (1:5-8). God gives us wisdom when we ask and this heavenly wisdom is “first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (3:17).

In other words, when we ask for wisdom, God will give it to us and that wisdom will create in us a humility that begins to change us. We will begin to look at others and see God’s likeness (3:9). We stop showing favoritism and begin to truly love our neighbor as ourselves (2:8). With this wisdom, our heart begins to change and that affects our tongue, because what comes out of our mouth is a product of what is in our hearts. So let’s not delay. It’s time to ask for wisdom. Write down reminders where you will see them over and over again, reminders to pray for God to give you wisdom.

…Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it… – James 4:2b

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. – James 1:5-6a