Since drinking my morning coffee last Thursday, I have not been able to get out of my mind Epaphras and how he prayed hard and earnestly for others. My prayer is that God will show me how to pray like Epaphras (Col. 4:12-13). Having finished the study of James and then Colossians, I went back this morning to where we left off in the Old Testament in February, bringing me to 1 Samuel. And just like God has a tendency to do, he brought my mind back to how I pray and the heart behind my prayers.
In the first chapter we read the wonderful story of Hannah, a woman who prayed to God and her prayers were answered. Hannah was barren and wanted to have a baby so she prayed to God hard and with earnest. Well, the exact description of her prayer is “out of great anguish and sorrow.” I’ve read this story so many times and have always been able to relate to Hannah’s heart because of my own struggle with infertility before I was healed. Today God showed me something different in Hannah’s story that I have never noticed.
Each year Elkanah would travel to Shiloh to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies at the Tabernacle…On the days Elkanah presented his sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to Peninnah and each of her children. And though he loved Hannah, he would give her only one choice portion because the Lord had given her no children…Each time, Hannah would be reduced to tears and would not even eat. “Why are you crying?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be down so downhearted just because you have no children? You have me – isn’t that better than having ten sons?”
Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray…Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord. And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.” – 1 Samuel 1:3-11
I always thought Hannah wanted a child so that she could have a child. Makes sense to me. But then she gives him back to the Lord and is again without a child – a part of the story that always confused me. Her intent was always to give the child back to God, not just in the way we do when we dedicate our children to the Lord but to literally give her child to the Church and again be without him. I believe today I understand Hannah for the first time.
Because Hannah had no children, she had less to give to God. She prayed for a child so that she could give the most incredible sacrifice a mother could ever give, her son. God saw Hannah’s heart, saw it was out of love for God that she asked for something God would see as priceless and beyond the value of any other sacrifice. God, who knew He would one day offer His own son as a sacrifice, understood the cost – God understood Hannah’s heart and answered her prayer.